


Thanatonaut

by BattleBrooks



Series: Kindred Light Clan [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 04:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13263909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleBrooks/pseuds/BattleBrooks
Summary: Thanatonaut: A taboo Warlock practice where one willingly repeatedly kills themselves in search of knowledge beyond death.Carver made a vow to a friend to end his practices, but he has one request on his last attempt.





	Thanatonaut

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scarletrebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletrebel/gifts).



> A late Christmas gift to my friend Jade (nerdykins on ao3, nerdy-kins on tumblr). Avia is also her character.

Avia crossed the dessert covered planet of Mercury alone, well not completely alone. Her ghost, Levi, received a message from Luna, Carver's ghost, about him wanting to meet with her and it was important to him that she be there. He sent her some vague coordinates to locate him. As she searched the area she pondered what could’ve been so important that he wanted her to be present. Their relationship has been strenuous to say the least but they both were healing. She recalls the night Carver confided in her about his life on the moon before getting to Earth and his struggles afterwards. She listened to his story and honestly couldn’t believe how the old warlock could still be so optimistic for his age despite how all he’s been through. She wandered on until Levi perked up, that she caught Luna’s signal. She hurried on and found a small cave, after checking her surroundings she slipped into it and out of the harsh sunlight, it immediately feeling cooler. The cave went down into the ground for a bit before opening up into a larger room. The room was lined with candles and on the other end was Carver, standing with a book in hand, focused on its pages. She pulled off her helmet, setting it on the ground next to his.

“Carver?”

He looked up, closing the book. Avia's brow knit together in concern, he looked so exhausted in the dim light, had he not been sleeping again?

“Avia, you’re here. Thank you for coming,” he murmured.

“Yeah, uh, no problem. Did you need help with something?”

“Ah, no. It’s not that I need help or anything. I have a favor to ask of you.”

Avia didn’t like how his request sounded, but didn’t decline right away, instead asked about the favor.

“Well,” Carver started, almost as if he were embarrassed to ask, “I know I told you I was going to stop the Thanatonautics, but I’m going to do it just this one last time.”

“Carver,” she warned, “you know I don’t like this already, why—”

“I know, but I swear it is. I have no right to ask this of you but I…I um…” he paused, trying to gather the words.

“Carver,” Avia tried again, keeping her tone leveled, “what is it?”

“Stay with me.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Stay with me. While I die, and when I come back.”

“I-I….”

“I know I have no right to ask you do this for me, but I am anyway,”

“Why me? Why not Cornelia? Or Grier?”

“Cornelia is on Earth, watching Pyxis, she wants nothing to do with my practices regardless. Not that I blame her, she never liked the idea and refused to even consider it. So I wouldn’t dare ask her. Grier’s been through enough of that and truth be told, he doesn’t know me like you do now. He doesn’t know everything I went through.”

“Why not tell him?”

“I will, when I’m ready. You’re only the third to know. And you make sure not to forget to remind me of how old I am, so you know how little I talk about it,”

“Oh, right,” she paused a moment, “well you didn’t answer my first question. Why me?”

“I’ve never experienced it with someone watching over me—aside from Luna of course—but like another guardian. I wanted to know if it’s make a difference in the few minutes I’m gone.”

He shifted his weight to his side, relaxing a bit, Avia looked him over and sighed.

“And if I say ‘no'? What if I don’t want to stay while I watch you die in front of me?”

“Then you go on your way, I'll finish up here and meet up with you later,” he answered. Avia didn’t hear any anger or annoyance in his voice, just informative, he expected her to question him.

“You’re still going to do it then,” Avia asked cautiously, “you’re still going to do this last…passing, I suppose you would call it.”

“Oh, yeah, about that. See, I already took the poison I use when I do this,” he sighed, “it’s slow acting so I knew I had time to talk to you before it worked, and you wouldn’t have be here as long.”

“Carver you can’t be serious!” Avia exclaimed, “you poisoned yourself!? Why in the Traveler's Light would you do that!?”

“Do you really want an answer?”

“Probably gonna regret it but yes. Why poison? Why not just shoot yourself and be quick about it?”

“The poison I use is specially made to be slow and painless. The quickness and relatively painless act of shooting makes the visions from the death go too quick. It’s too chaotic at times. With this poison I made it makes it calmer and easier to understand what I’m seeing. Not being flung around too fast or distracted from the pain.”

“I knew I’d regret it,” Avia huffed, “I guess I still just don’t understand…”

“It's okay that you don’t, I’m not asking you to. I just want to know if you’ll stay for me.”

Before she could answer, Carver lost his balance, catching himself on the wall. Avia was at his side immediately, hands on his back and shoulder to help steady him, she frowned as his whole body trembled. He’s dying, the grim thought immediately in her mind, he’s dying and he’s just letting it happen.

“Carver?” she promoted softly, she noticed that he was starting to breath a bit heavier, sweat forming on his face.

“I’m alright. It doesn’t hurt or anything, it just makes me feel a bit tired. Here, just let me sit down,”

She held onto him as he let himself sink down to the ground, recognizing the meditative position he likes to take as he got comfortable. She sat next to him, not quite sure what to say or do.

“If you have more questions, I can answer them. If you want to ask them that is,” he looked over at her. Light above, she couldn’t help but make a face at how pale he’d become and just at the offer, he chuckled at her, nodding.

“Alright, my apologies, you don’t have to ask if—”

“How can you be so calm? You’re literally dying in front of me right this moment and you’re laughing? You act as if it’s nothing to you!”

“I never said it was nothing. Look, I understand this is scary for you—”

“’Scary'? I’m not a child Carver, it isn’t ‘scary,’ it’s downright horrifying to see this. When I found you dead the first time I didn’t know what to do. If I hadn’t seen Luna or something I would’ve lost it, that you did so much for me and suddenly you’re just dead and gone.”

He nodded listening to her, they had already had a lengthy discussion over it but he understood that one conversation wouldn’t be enough to talk about it and her feelings.

“Fine, I’ll stay. I don’t know how you could just expect me to leave you here. I don’t like this one bit and you owe me big time!”

“I’m sorry to have worried you, Avia,” he frowned, “I know I owe you so much at this point, what can I do to start repaying you?”

“You can start by not speaking to me for at least a decade.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can do about that.”

They fell into silence for a few minutes, Avia watching him as he slowly but surly worsened. She swears she could see the color draining from his face and swayed slightly where he sat. Carver had closed his eyes and relaxed, Avia could tell he was trying to meditate but wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to with how often he swayed. She forced herself to look away and instead watched the various candle flames. It was fairly warm in the cave, she thanked the Traveler that Carver picked a cave that wasn’t exposed to the sunlight. She still couldn’t believe that she is this situation, she looked over to ask him a question but wasn’t able to when Carver slumped onto her shoulder. Cursing internally she tried to sit him up, he had failed to catch himself and was resting his weight on his shaking arms.

“A-apologies, I didn’t realize I started to lose my balance until I couldn’t catch myself,” he said weakly.

“Yeah, yeah, old man. Are you able to stay up?”

“Not on my own, I can just lean on the wall and I guess that’s where I’ll stay.”

Avia didn’t really like the idea of him just laying against a cave wall; she shifted and was on her knees and gently grabbed his shoulders.

“I’m not letting you just be slumped up against a wall, here, just rest your head on my lap. It would be more comfortable, maybe not by much though.”

“You don’t have to do that, Avia,”

“If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have offered.”

“I suppose so…” he still seemed a bit hesitant, Avia groaned, pulling him down to lay down fully and positioned his head comfortably on her lap.

“For once in your life old man just relax. Make this easier for me since you went to all this trouble. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“I… uh, okay’” he sighed softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Enough of that outta you. Just relax. I don’t really know what all this means but I won’t leave.”

Carver gave in, closing his eyes once more and focused on his breathing. They were shallow and shaky, Avia noticed; she brushed the bit of hair from his face and he felt cold, even colder than normal for an Awoken.

“Does it hurt?” she whispered.

“No, it doesn’t, it’s not supposed to,” he mumbled, “it’s more of a numb feeling if you want to know how I’m doing right now.”

“I don’t, but thanks for putting me at ease,” she couldn’t help but smile a little bit. At least it isn’t hurting him.

“Your hands feel warm,” he said suddenly, eyes half lidded as he looks up at her. Avia pulled her hands away at the mention of it, Carver smirking at her reaction.

“So what’s going to happen now?”

“Well, with how far along it’s been going, I’ll pass out rather soon and a short time after that my heart with stop and I’ll stop breathing. Luna knows how long to wait and will resurrect me when the time is right. How are you feeling? I swear I can feel your heart racing just resting here.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Mmm..” was all he managed, eyes closing again as he relaxed even more. Avia wondered if he was actually relaxing or if he just couldn’t feel his body anymore.

“Carver?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you afraid of death? Or dying?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“What an odd question. Of course I do,” he replied, a soft smile on his face.

“Oh, I was just wondering. I guess it just seemed like anyone who wouldn’t be scared of dying would be more likely to do it. I mean that just makes sense logically, right? If you weren’t scared of dying, what’s to stop you from doing it all the time? Or to stay dead longer?”

She rattled on a few moments before stopping, Carver hadn’t spoken in a while. She looked him over, it looked like he was asleep, breathing still a bit short and shallow. She gently nudged him, jostling his shoulder, but he didn’t so much as flinch. He had passed out and she just kept quiet, watching his chest rise and fall.

“I still can’t believe I’m doing this,” she frowned at herself, “Carver I’ll never understand why you would do this to yourself. Is a warlock’s curious nature always this intense?”

She watched on and as he told her, he stopped breathing. Her hand immediately at his throat, feeling for a pulse. It was so weak and erratic; she looked up at Luna, who was hovering above them with Levi, as had a visible reaction the moment Carver’s heart stopped. Luna moved lower to them as she looked over her guardian.

“Avia, are you alright?” she asked.

“Of course I’m not! He just let himself die! Please stop asking before I bury him and leave him here,” she made a face at Luna.

“Understood,” Luna chuckled, she’s never really heard Luna laugh before, Light above she laughs like Carver.

Looking back down at Carver, she brushed the hair from his face away again. She hated to admit it but he did look peaceful at this moment. She doesn’t think she’d seen him look truly this relaxed in a long time, if ever really. Placing a hand on his cheek, she closed her eyes. She wasn’t able to meditate like he could but thought maybe it’d help her relax a bit while he laid there. She sat in silence, just trying not to count out the seconds she sat there, it drove her nuts that she couldn’t just bring him back. But she kept herself distracted until Luna came and interrupted her thoughts.

“Avia?”

She opened her eyes, to Luna floating in front of her, she sat up straight suddenly, feeling a bit flustered for some reason.

“Sorry, this was kinda weirding me out so I was trying to relax?” she tried, Luna tilting to the side.

“I understand but I’m about to revive him, just so it didn’t startle you.”

“Oh, thanks Luna.”

The ghost moved back, looking over Carver’s body as she resurrected him once more. Carver’s eyes shot open as he took a large inhale of breath, sitting up immediately and panting heavily. Avia let him go, as to not hold him back as he collected himself.

“Carver? You alright in there?”

Carver turned and looked at her, eyes wide, a smile on his face.

“Avia! You won’t believe what I saw it was—oh man it’s never been that way before! Was having someone there really that different? Would anyone work? Or just a friend or someone close to you? Traveler forgive me I have no idea.”

Carver rambled on before Avia grabbed his shoulders, grabbing his attention.

“Avia! That was such an experience! It never felt so… so comforting before, like it was so warm. I mean it never felt cold or anything, just lukewarm at best but it was so different this time! Oh! Did you touch my face at all? Or brush my hair away?”

“I-I um, yeah? I guess I did,” she answered a bit dumbfounded.

“I felt it, like I couldn’t feel your hands or anything but I felt a soft touch on my face, it was warm just like everything else. I’m not lying, it’s never felt that comfortable before. I can’t really put it to words but I’ve never had such clarity in my visions before. Honestly, I’m thrilled with the results, all these new possibilities that have presented themselves are fascinating.”

“I see,” she frowned, was he gonna want to do this now? Even after he just promised that this would be his last? And would he really expect her to do this with him? She watch him stand and grab the book he had when she arrived, jotting down notes and reading them over. He stopped and put the book down, turning fully to Avia, like he realized she was still there.

“Avia I know this was hard for you, I am in no way trying to downplay that but I can’t help but thank you for doing this. I had never had that experience before and it was eye opening to the possibilities and—ah sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. Okay, don’t worry, I’m keeping my word, this was my last time.”

He moved to her and held out a hand, she grabbed it and he lifted her up, pulling her into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, I will never put you through something like that ever again,” he murmured to her, “but thank you still.”

“I’d say ‘no problem’ but that’d be a lie. It was a big problem, and one I’m glad to be rid of.”

“Understood, shall we head back to the Lighthouse?”

“No thanks, I’m heading back to the Tower, if I see Brother Vance or the other cultists I may actually kill them.”

Carver laughed, gathering his belongings and met Avia at the entrance to the cave. They put on their helmets and he held an arm out, letting Avia go before him. They made their way out and they both called their ships, both flying towards Earth.

After they landed, they were greeted with a group of guardians crowded around something. They looked to one another and went to see what the commotion was about.

Carver smiled brightly as he saw Cornelia in the center, holding their son, Pyxis. One of the few chances they get to bring their children to the tower, smiling as he thought of when they'd bring Carina as a child. He and Avia made their way to the center, Carver pulling them both into a tight hug. Pyxis squealed at his father’s presence, immediately reaching for him. The small crowd started to disperse, letting Carver and Cornelia have their moment. Carver carefully took him and Cornelia shifted him into his arms. Pyxis smiled happily at Carver, then waved at Avia.

“Papa!! Auntie!!”

Carver buried his face into his sons green hair, smiling and kissing the top of his head.

“I’ve missed you so much, my son.”

“He looks like you, Carver. I guess I didn’t notice,” Avia smirked, reaching up and rustling Pyxis’ hair, making him giggle.

“Maybe if you came over with Grier more often you would’ve noticed.”

“So,” Avia ignored the comment, “what are you two thinking? Warlock? Titan? Dare I say Hunter?”

“If he’s a warlock, I’m leaving you,” Cornelia deadpanned, immediately looking to her husband.

“Yes, well,” Carver fake coughed, “I do think he’ll be a Titan, he’s very determined and headstrong already. Like a certain wife of mine.”

“Please stop, you’re sickening me,” Avia pleaded.

“I thought I did that ages ago,” Carver laughed.

“Yeah, well whatever. Anyway, I’m not talking to you for a decade so It’s been nice knowing you, see ya,” she said, waving them off and walking away.

“Of course, like we agreed.”

A pause.

“See you tomorrow?” he prompted.

“Like always,” the hunter grinned.


End file.
